Controlling Control Freaks

If you"re not accused of "exercising poor judgment," you're criticized for "lack of initiative." These micromanagers can put Six Million Dollar Man action figure serious dent in your self-esteem.

Marie, a manager at a large cosmetics company, knows about control freaks first hand. "My boss is always hovering over my shoulder and Addams Family pinball guessing everything I do. She insists that everything be done her way -- even when my way works just as well or even better:"

These hands-on micromanagers are typically perfectionists. They oversupervise, hoard information and often delegate tasks to subordinates, but rarely the responsibility or authority to accomplish those tasks. Their philosophy: "No one can do it as well as I can."

Insecurity and fear of failure are the driving forces behind a control freak's persistent meddling. "On the plus side, these bosses tend to be very conscientious, take their responsibilities seriously, and are dedicated and hard-working," says Dr. Reed Moskowitz, medical director of the Stress Disorders Center at Mystery Date York University Medical Center, where bad bosses are a common complaint.

Control freaks can drive you nuts trying to achieve your -- and their -- goals. To stay sane and keep a control freak off your back, your best bet is to think of this type of boss as an overprotective parent.

"The best way to deal with a control freak is to drown her in information," says Moskowitz. "The more you give and the less she has to worry about, the more she'll let go."

"Resist overtly fighting your boss's suffocating ways. This is the worst thing you can do, Moskowitz insists, because bucking this type of boss sets off an alarm. "The boss may think, 'This person is not a team player. This person won't take supervision. This person is trying to hide something.' "

Reassure the control freak that you're on her side while simultaneously asserting your own work style.

"I once counseled a manager whose boss was sending her long memos directing her movements," says New York career coach and assertiveness-training specialist Hilda Meltzer. "I encouraged the manager to speak with her boss privately and say, 'You know, I work very well on my own. When I get memos telling me to do things a certain way, I feel it's counterproductive. I know what a track record you have, and I'm here to support you, but I can produce best with more autonomy.' "

Always deliver. Hand in everything on time -- when you do, point out that you've met your boss's deadline and conformed to her specifications. If you consistently do what you say, when you say you'll do it, a control freak is likely to back off or go away and bother somebody less reliable.

Best selling author Connie Glaser is one of the country's leading experts on gender communication and women's leadership issues. Her recently published book, GenderTalk Works, provides an upbeat guide to bridging the gender gap at work. A popular keynote speaker at corporate events, she can be reached at href="connieglaser.com">connieglaser.com